Blog
Into the wilderness
Get the latest blog in your inbox.
You’re Married to a Sinner and you can’t fix them.
The first question I ask whenever starting marriage counseling is, “What brings you into my office today?” Inevitably, one spouse will say, “We don’t communicate well.” The couple has determined that the main problem is bad communication. The problem with this conclusion is that it’s saying a symptom of the problem is the main problem. An example would be talking to a friend who’s sick and asking them why they’re sick and they reply with, “I’m sick because I have a cough.” Anyone who’s ever been sick knows that a cough is often a symptom of the illness not the cause. Similar in marriage, poor communication is a symptom not the main problem. “
You’re Not That Easy to Love
You are not as patient as you think. Your tolerance for what you deem acceptable is not vast or deep. You give yourself a good grade on your ability to be patient with others, but only because you are looking at yourself through your eyes. You are not experiencing “you” the way others experience you. You are patient so long as you get what you want. You are demanding of others and God. You’re patient with people as a means to an end. Your version of patience is just manipulation. Your impatience when those in your life hold you accountable you lash out and gaslight them. You are not patient because you don’t understand the patience and long suffering that God has with you (2 Peter 3:9)
God is Disappointed in Me
“When she expressed her thoughts on how God feels about her, you could see some momentary relief, but the burden of her beliefs quickly returned because her experiences taught her God was only happy with her when she behaved right. For my client, there was no solution other than to try harder and be better, but it is this very belief that was crushing her.”
Husbands and Wives
Establishing who is God in your individual and marital life can make a big difference in healing for a fractured marriage. God calls us to worship him with our whole being (Deut 6:4-6), how does that impact the way we deal with marital dysfunction and healing. Can healing happen when we worship God first in our lives? These are questions that are important for every christian individual, especially christian marriages to seek and ask.
Teens and Suicide
Teens need their moms and dads practically leading them through their identity formation as well as pointing them to Jesus in times of confusion and angst.