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Into the wilderness
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Happy Wife Happy Life
Marriage, simply put, is not supposed to be about one spouses’ happiness. If that is the cornerstone of your marriage, it will crumble, and you’ll be headed for divorce. HWHL lies to the husband that his existence in the marriage is meant soley to make his wife happy. The cornerstone of a healthy marriage is not your wife’s happiness, but Jesus Christ. You cannot make the happiness of your wife your all and effectively adhere to Matt 22:37.
You’re Married to a Sinner and you can’t fix them.
The first question I ask whenever starting marriage counseling is, “What brings you into my office today?” Inevitably, one spouse will say, “We don’t communicate well.” The couple has determined that the main problem is bad communication. The problem with this conclusion is that it’s saying a symptom of the problem is the main problem. An example would be talking to a friend who’s sick and asking them why they’re sick and they reply with, “I’m sick because I have a cough.” Anyone who’s ever been sick knows that a cough is often a symptom of the illness not the cause. Similar in marriage, poor communication is a symptom not the main problem. “
You’re Not That Easy to Love
You are not as patient as you think. Your tolerance for what you deem acceptable is not vast or deep. You give yourself a good grade on your ability to be patient with others, but only because you are looking at yourself through your eyes. You are not experiencing “you” the way others experience you. You are patient so long as you get what you want. You are demanding of others and God. You’re patient with people as a means to an end. Your version of patience is just manipulation. Your impatience when those in your life hold you accountable you lash out and gaslight them. You are not patient because you don’t understand the patience and long suffering that God has with you (2 Peter 3:9)
Active Forgiveness
“Forgiveness is weakness. This unfortunately is the more dominant understanding of how our culture looks at forgiveness. This is not a virtue that is seen as an admirable or imitable quality. Many people subscribe to the idea that if someone hurts you, you get revenge on them.“
